* upgrade trl==0.19.1
* add vllm for tests for grpo
* fixes to work with latest trl
* need data_parallel_size config too
* support for vllm_mode for server / colocate
* vllm settings for colocate
* relax vllm version
* bump min hf hub for latest vllm support
* add hints on string literal for vllm mode
* use latest transformers 4.53.2
* tweak acceptable loss on flaky test_ds_zero3_packed test
* don't run flaky vllm/grpo tests for now
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